MY GREAT FRIEND JOE SPITERI-GONZI
Some personal memories
(After Joe passed peacefully away on 27th March 2022 I was not able to pay him the tribute he deserved because the impact of the sad news upset me too much. I promised to do this later and found it fitting to publish it on his birthday)
To-day (29th December 2022) it-tabib would have celebrated his 95th birthday. It is strange for me not to phone him and congratulate him. We have known each other since summer 1975, so we were old friends in many respects.
Over time my wife Margreet and me became quite fond of dear Betty, for us every inch an English lady, and Joe. We shared many memories.
In Marsaskala they, as so many summer residents, participated in quite a few parish activities. We all attended, with many parishioners, the installation of Father Joe Carabott as Archpriest of Siggiewi. As a matter of fact, the future Archpriest of Mosta, was the one who introduced us to each other.
In 1977 we spent Christmas in Malta. We informed nobody as we intended to have a quiet time together. We had to learn by experience it was virtually impossible to spend an ‘unseen’ holiday in Malta. So we found ourselves invited to Joe’s birthday party in Fgura. This was quite a funny experience with minister Lorry Sant in one room and Dr. JoJo Mifsud Bonnici in another room. I realized that I still had a lot to learn about the intricacies of Maltese society and Joe was one of my teachers.
During one of the summers we spent in Marsascala my father stayed a few weeks with us. As he was under medical control I asked Joe to look after him. At the end of the visit I wanted to offer Joe a glass of Dutch gin, with which he became quite familiar during his residence in Singapore. When I came into the room with the bottle, Joe said thank you and took the bottle with him… I never told him I meant to pour him just a glass.
Joe, a labourite at heart, was the physician of the General Worker’s Union. After the doctor’s strike Betty and Joe went to Saudi Arabia. I still remember their farewell barbeque at St.Thomas Bay. From Saudi Arabia Joe came over to Holland during Yuletide in 1982 and stayed a few days in our house. I took him to Amsterdam and when he wanted to see the red light district I had to ask a policeman as I had never been there before. We ate Dutch raw herrings, which he liked very much. We went to Haarlem for Händels Messiah and he really loved it.
The purpose of the visit, however, was the football match Malta-Netherlands in Aachen*. His son Ernest was an international player for Malta in those days. We stayed in the same hotel as the Maltese team and shared a room. Joe complained about my snoring! By the way, the foorball reporters of the Times of Malta and the Orizzont shared a room as well. Before the match Father Hilary Tagliaferro, priest and tv-commentator, said the Rosary in our presence in the changing room. After the match (0-6) we all had a great time in Aachen, partying with German beer and Dutch Herrings.
From Saudi Arabia Joe wrote to us the sad news of the death of their dear son Edward in Italy, a horror story.
After returning from Italy Betty and Joe became involved in running the Ta’ Monita Holiday Complex in Marsaskala, which had become my accommodation whenever I was in Malta. When our son Corneel stayed in Malta he was allowed to stay there too and Betty took very good care of him. I am still grateful to them for this.
When they left Ta’ Monita Betty and Joe took up residence in St. Julian’s where Joe stayed on after Betty’s death. His final years he spent with his companion Maria at the Hilltop Gardens in Naxxar. From there we went to visit the late Mgr. Carabott in December 2019 and so the circle became round. I did not realize then that both of them would not be there any more when I returned finally to Malta after the pandemic (April/May 2022; AK).
Joe used to drive me all over the island, up to the very end. He took me to festa’s and events like a strawberry festival in Mgarr and many other places and events. He loved to introduce me to other people and treated me (and himself) to quite a few good meals, often in the pleasant company of one or more of his children (he was a proud father and grandhather) and their spouses. I used to take Dutch herrings to him, which he really enjoyed.
Joe and I shared our sense of humour. He was proud to be Maltese and fond of his native town Bormla. He would not hesitate telling me when, in his eyes, my Dutch manners dit not fit into Maltese culture. ‘I like to call a spade a spade’, he would often say and he certainly did. He could be blunt some times.
A few weeks before he died we had our last conversation on the telephone. His health was deteriorating and he told me ‘it’s nice when you go up, but not see nice when you go down’.
During my recent stay in Malta last May Joe’s son Tony, a very dear friend as well, took me to the Addolorata, so that I could pay respect at Betty’s and Joe’s grave. I cherish my fond memories of them both.
(originally posted on Facebook on 29th December 2022)
In June 2025 there was another football match between Malta and the Netherlands. On my own Facebook page of 9th June I posted in Durch my memories to the 1982 match in Aachen, where Joe and I were present. Great memories.